I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
