i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
