You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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