We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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