My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
