Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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