oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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