and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
