i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
