I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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