Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize