I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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