I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize