Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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