I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
