theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
