I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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