no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
