"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
this will be a night to untag.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
