I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You ruined the universe
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize