If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
