Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
