how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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