I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
