got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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