the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
