I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
