Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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