just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
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