She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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