i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Bring me that man meat
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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