I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I would fuck him just for his dog
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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