We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
