I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
