The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize