i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
