I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
