Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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