New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
