you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
