if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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