that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
