So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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