your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize