just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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