My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
