I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
