the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
