So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
