i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
