i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
