i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
