Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
