i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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