Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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