im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
