Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
