Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
