I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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