I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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