she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
