I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
