the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My ass is underappreciated
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
