Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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