you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
