They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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