im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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