I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
