Me. At least after what I've been through.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
