If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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