Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
