Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
