Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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