she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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