I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
