We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
