no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He passed out mid-signature
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
