She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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