I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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